


Tethered and Chained

by coloursflyaway



Series: Radiant [1]
Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:35:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22218664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coloursflyaway/pseuds/coloursflyaway
Summary: “Can we just…not for tonight?”
Relationships: Kevin Owens | Kevin Steen/Sami Zayn | El Generico
Series: Radiant [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1996324
Comments: 9
Kudos: 31





	Tethered and Chained

Kevin is already outside when Sami steps through the door.  
The sun has long since gone down and the electric lights are trying and failing to illuminate the balcony, but Sami still recognises his familiar form within a split second, the broad shoulders and the hunched back, the head that should be held high instead of resting on Kevin’s hand.  
If Sami was smart, he would turn back, maybe with a short apology, maybe without saying anything at all, because they are not friends, they haven’t been in what feels like an eternity. But then again, Sami has never been smart when it comes to Kevin.  
So instead, he lets the door fall shut behind him, wincing slightly when the sudden noise causes Kevin to whip around, fixing dark, suspicious eyes on Sami, who holds up his hands in surrender without thinking.

Even in the dim light, Kevin looks ready to fight, shoulders drawn up and fingers clenched, and Sami has always known that Kevin isn’t _beautiful_ , but by God, he’s the only thing Sami wants to look at for the rest of his life.

“Can we just…not for tonight?”, he hears himself ask, half his mind still occupied by how right it feels to have Kevin look at him, even if his expression isn’t tender like it usually is in Sami’s dreams.  
For a moment, he expects Kevin to scoff, to at least send him away, if not beat him to a bloody pulp, but then the tension drains out of the other man, shoulders slumping once more, chin dropping; he looks tired, and Sami hates it almost as much as he hates the wary look in Kevin’s eyes.  
A curt nod, and Sami risks stepping closer.

“What are you doing here anyway?”, Kevin asks, and Sami doesn’t wince at his tone, but it’s a close thing.  
“Can we also maybe not do that?”, he asks instead of answering; it might be a strange request, but he doesn’t want to talk about Shinsuke today, about titles and matches, maybe he doesn’t want to talk at all.  
For a long moment there is no reply, but then Kevin shrugs, turns around to look back out onto the city, leaving Sami to wonder if he is really so desperate that this tiny, miniscule show of trust makes his heart jump. The answer, he supposes, is yes.

Since Kevin doesn’t say anything, doesn’t turn around again, Sami dares to come closer, and every step is as exhilarating as it is terrifying until he has reached the railing, can lean against it next to the other man.  
There is still some distance between them, enough to give Sami a chance to breathe, but Kevin is close enough that Sami could just reach out, brush his fingers across the other’s shoulder, and the mere thought is as intoxicating as it is dangerous.  
He turns towards the scenery before his treacherous hands can get any more ideas, focusses on the twinkling lights in the distance, the moon peeking out from behind the clouds, the sound of cars passing by the hotel, and yet he cannot forget about Kevin right beside him for even a single moment. And how could he, when can’t remember a single day when he hasn’t missed the other, when sometimes the urge to call Kevin is so strong that Sami has to leave his phone in another room before he goes to bed, just so he can resist the temptation.  
It’s the reason he oversleeps more often than ever before in his life, but Shinsuke’s annoyed looks are a small price to pay for not making a complete idiot out of himself.

Kevin shifts next to him, the smallest of movements, but enough to bring Sami back to reality within half a second, looking over to find Kevin’s eyes still fixed on the horizon. Nonetheless, it seems like he has gotten closer, an idea Sami forces himself to dismiss instantly.  
Just because he hides something behind all his bravado, his wit, doesn’t mean that Kevin does, too. 

He should pretend he isn’t hyperaware of every motion, every breath, every sound the other makes, but then, just when Sami wants to – _has to_ – turn back, Kevin speaks.  
“You know”, he says, and his voice is soft, hoarse in a way Sami hasn’t heard in a long, long time. “Sometimes I wonder if it was all worth it.”  
The words send Sami reeling, at first not because of their meaning, but because Kevin is speaking at all, because there is something he wants Sami to know. Then, because none of it makes sense, not coming from Kevin, his sometimes friend, sometimes enemy, always _his_.  
“What do you mean?”, he asks and thanks whoever is willing to listen that he doesn’t have to tear his eyes away from Kevin’s profile after all. It’s a blessing, even if, between breaths, it feels like a curse.

“Just…” There’s a pause, Kevin raising one hand to rub it across his face, and Sami almost expects to be left with just that when the other man continues. “I was happier before this. I think. I might have been. I’m not sure, it’s been so long ago, but I broke so much to get here. And back then, I mean, the venues were shitty, and the hotels were worse, I had to sell my own merch and hope that it would be enough to pay for gas, but… but I think, maybe I was happier.”

The words do not come out in a rush, like Sami might have expected them to; they’re not a confession born from a moment’s nostalgia, but from days, weeks, maybe months of thinking, and suddenly, Sami cannot breathe.  
Because even if Kevin doesn’t say it out-loud, Sami is in there, in that past the other is thinking of, in the same venues, the same hotels, right beside him selling badly made t-shirts. He is part of it in a way he can’t be anymore, and even if that is not what Kevin means, it’s the only thing Sami can think of.

“But-”, he tries to answer anyway, trying not to give too much of himself away, pauses to lick his dry lips. His voice is raspy, as if he hadn’t used it for a week, but Kevin doesn’t seem to notice, so Sami simply goes on. Answers Kevin’s sudden softness with more of the same. “But that’s not where you belonged. Never. You always belonged somewhere bigger, somewhere better.”  
It’s nothing but the truth, even if the unfamiliarity of tenderness stings on his lips, his tongue; Kevin deserved more than freezing motel rooms and cheap fast food, putting his body on the line night after night in the hopes of someone noticing. Sami did too, even if never as much as Kevin.

“I could have”, Kevin answers, this time immediately, even if he takes a deep breath before continuing, as if to steel himself, his eyes not once straying from the city below them. “If you had been there, I could have belonged anywhere.”

It’s a kick to the stomach, a punch to the throat; no move inside a ring could force the air out of Sami’s lungs the way a few choice words do, causing the world around him to stop spinning and leaving Sami helpless, but for the first time in a long time, full of hope.  
There’s no way what Kevin is saying is the truth, and yet again, there is no reason for him to lie, no reason to pretend when there is nothing to gain from Sami’s open, bleeding heart.

“Kevin-“, he breathes out, unable to do anything but whisper, but he doesn’t get any farther.  
The other man shakes his head, still not looking at Sami, huffs out a laugh that sounds more pained than anything else.  
“Ignore me”, Kevin says, apparently oblivious to the fact that it’s the only thing Sami has never been able to do, and pushes himself away from the railing. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me tonight. It’s too late, I have known that it’s too late for years, I don’t know why I’d bring it up again.”  
He starts to turn away and the thought of letting him leave sparks panic in Sami’s chest, blind and desperate and all-consuming.

His hand shoots forward, wrapping clumsy fingers around Kevin’s shoulder like Sami has been fantasising about between heartbeats, and Kevin freezes mid-motion, his face turned away from Sami, but his skin warm underneath Sami’s palm.  
“It’s not”, Sami forces out between gritted teeth, every muscle pulled taut with the effort of keeping himself from flinging his body at Kevin and finding out if the other will catch him. “It’s not too late. It never was.”

A moment passes, then another, and Sami doesn’t dare to breathe, doesn’t dare to blink, terrified of what would happen if he had just misunderstood, but then Kevin turns around.  
There is something raw in his eyes, and Sami suddenly realises that he has seen this look before, on the road between badly paid wrestling gigs; in tiny, filthy motel rooms; right before Kevin had slammed his head against the apron, turning triumph into pain; splayed out on the floor with their hands still clasped together, Shane’s body colliding with a table mere feet away from them.  
Something inside of him breaks, shatters, spills, and it feels like joy, feels like love, feels like coming home. 

Around them, the world has started spinning again, but Sami ignores it, just like he would ignore anything else; nothing matters as long as Kevin’s eyes are on him, his lips parted ever so slightly, his cheeks flushed.  
“I never knew-“, Sami starts, but doesn’t know how to continue; he doesn’t have to, because a smile breaks out across Kevin’s face, as rare as it is precious, a benediction Sami isn’t sure he deserves.  
“And I thought I was being so obvious”, Kevin tells him, the words tinted with incredulous laughter, and Sami _loves_ him, has loved him, will love him, not as long as Kevin will have him, but as long as he lives.  
“So did I.”

He’s grinning, Sami notices a few seconds too late, lips stretched so wide it hurts, but there is nothing he can do against it, not when Kevin is grinning, too.  
It’s too much just to look at him, to see his usually closed off features so open, all the mistrust replaced by what Sami hopes is just a fraction of the happiness he feels, and yet, it’s not enough.  
His hand is still on Kevin’s shoulder, skin pressed against skin, and Sami pulls even while he steps forward, the two of them colliding somewhere in the middle.  
Kevin is warm and solid against Sami’s chest, smelling like shampoo and a brighter future as he wraps strong arms around him. They move together like they have done a thousand times before, limbs intertwining until Sami’s face is pressed into the crook of Kevin’s neck, breathing half formed confessions against the other’s skin as he basks in the familiarity of it, in the brand-new implications.

Kevin’s fingers trail up his spine, leaving Sami’s skin tingling; he allows his own to brush across the back of Kevin’s head, playing with the short hair, the hem of Kevin’s shirt. He could stay like this forever, not moving, not thinking, just feeling like he is finally back where he belongs.  
“How long?”, Kevin finally asks; some time has passed, but the only reason Sami knows it hasn’t been hours is that the sun has not yet risen. His voice is muffled from where his mouth is pressed against Sami’s shoulder, his breath hot even through his clothes, and the thought is enough to make Sami shiver.  
“I don’t know”, he replies truthfully, shuffles even closer, because if he could, he’d meld the both of them together, make it impossible for Kevin to leave again. “Always.”  
“Yeah”, Kevin mutters, and Sami can feel him smile. “Same.”

Again, a moment passes, but this one seems as quick as lightning, as a heartbeat, then Sami wrenches his head away from the safety, the warmth of Kevin’s neck so he can take a look at his face. It’s the same one he has all but grown up with, the face he has left bloody and blushing, smiling and scowling, the face he has fallen in love with against all odds, against all reason. Bright eyes and soft cheeks and a smile on Kevin’s lips that Sami knows, but hasn’t seen in what feels like a lifetime.  
It’s always been this, always been them, Sami realises as he brings a hand up to cup Kevin’s jaw, dragging his thumb across the other’s mouth, trying to learn its shape before he leans in, kisses him for the very first time.  
And maybe it won’t change much, not in the grand scheme of things, but right now, right here, it changes everything.

**Author's Note:**

> In case you want to say hi, send me a prompt, or tell me something nice, you can find me on Tumblr here:  
> [X](http://www.coloursflyaway.tumblr.com)


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